Budget and Timeline

The first two things you need to consider are your budget and timeline. How much money do you have to spend, and where can you invest it most effectively? How much time will it take to make the improvements, and who is going to manage the work? Can you live on-site while construction is under way? 

Maybe a home office would cut down your commuting time and therefore vastly improve your quality of life. Perhaps with an updated kitchen or family room you’d actually entertain. Maybe you’re an outdoorsman who cringes every time you set foot on your Astroturf-covered back patio, or a do-it-yourselfer who’s finally ready to turn one corner of your overstuffed garage into a workshop. Whatever your circumstances, make a list and start to prioritize.

If you are not the sole decision-maker in your home, schedule a time to sit down with your partner or spouse to find out what he or she would like to upgrade first. You have to set some goals together. You may be surprised to learn that your wife loves the cold terra-cotta tile in the kitchen, but will question your sanity if you insist that the dated "stone" around the '70s fireplace is retro chic. You may also discover that while you fantasize of creating a "media room," replete with a plasma TV suspended in mid-air, invisible bookshelves and a universal remote control that massages your feet (somehow), your partner intuitively knows you should probably fix the leak in your bedroom ceiling first.

Once you can agree on a project that fits your budget and timeline, and that will also enhance your lifestyle and the value of your home, get proactive about starting and completing it. Whether you're talking about changing the paint color in your kids’ rooms or adding an entire new wing to your house, the biggest source of conflict and turmoil results from lack of planning and an inability to manage your expectations — of each other and the folks you may hire to get the work done.

Let’s say you’ve agreed to expand and update the master bathroom, partially because your real estate agent has informed you that you’ll see a 127.5 percent return on your money when you sell (and believe me, he wants you to sell), and partially because your water bill has tripled since the tub faucet sprung that nasty leak (the one you’ve been neglecting for six months). By fixing it now, you actually get to enjoy the fruits of your labor — as long as you’re not forced to sell once the work is complete because you spent tens of thousands of dollars you don’t have and can’t afford to borrow indefinitely (see where I’m going with the poor planning thing?).