This article expresses the views of the author of the article, not necessarily the views of TLC or any entity associated with TLC.

Newsweek recently reported that between Dunkin' Donuts and Krispy Kreme, Americans consume more than 14 million doughnuts per day. Now, given that about half of those doughnuts are eaten by New York city cops, that still leaves a good few million to be eaten by women, especially housewives.

If I had a dollar for every email I've received over the last few months from husbands who complain that their wives are too fat; and they have no idea how to tell them diplomatically that they should lose a ton or two; I might be making as much money as Dick Grasso.

These husbands write to me in order to contest my assertion; made principally in my book Kosher Adultery: Seduce and Sin With Your Spouse, but repeated in many of my essays; that their loss of attraction to their wives has little to do with their wives' appearance and everything to do with too much familiarity and a laziness on the part of husbands, who don't strive to bring erotic playfulness into their marriage.

"Oh yeah," said one writer, "nothing would make me happier than for me and my wife to have a passionate sex life again. But let's get real. When we married she was a size six. Now she has trouble squeezing into a size 18." Another husband echoed the sentiment: "Being married to my wife, I feel like a polygamist. She's so large, it's like I'm married to two women. She was half this size a few years ago."

There are other comedians out there like Stan, who wrote to me: "Don't lecture me Shmuley about how I am to blame for not feeling attracted to my wife. While some guys get to see their wives in bikinis, I am afraid to take my wife to the beach for fear that she'll get harpooned."

Other husbands write to me with a more reflective approach:

I partially agree with you, Shmuley, that the lack of passion in our marriage results from a man's, or in this case my own, tendency to be uncreative and allow ourselves to fall into a routine. But there is the real problem of my wife's having put on a lot of weight. I have tried everything to encourage her to diet, go to a gym, and generally take care of herself. I have even suggested we diet together. She takes offense at each suggestion and kicks me out of the bed, which is OK, since I barely fit in anyway. Added to that is the increasing growth of her facial hair, about which she does next to nothing. So on the rare occasions when we make love, I find myself thinking about other women.

The generic term for a wife who doesn't take care of herself is a woman who "let herself go." Husbands who are married to women who let themselves go use it as ample justification for either their indulgence in pornography, affairs, or having little or no sex with their wives. It's a convenient way of passing the buck and blaming the wife for the loss of marriage's most important ingredient: attraction.

But before we get all cozy with this notion that wives have decided to indulge their maternal instincts by appearing permanently pregnant and devouring even the wood of the kitchen cupboards, let's delve a little deeper.

First, there is something just a little hypocritical in the contemporary contention of husbands that only their wives need appear sexy while they can have endless folds of whale blubber hanging down their stomachs. Sorry guys, but just as you don't want to be married to Aunt Jemima, she doesn't want to be married to the Pillsbury Dough Boy. You complain that it is challenging making love to the Goodyear Blimp, but having the Michelin Man climb on top of you might not be the most pleasurable experience either. It cuts both ways. If you want her to get rid of her thunder-thighs, then perhaps you should consider taking a chainsaw to your love handles.

Added to this unjust double standard is the number of husbands who forget just how grossed out wives are with men's peculiar deficiencies in matters of personal hygiene. Eating ear wax might be your idea of a wholesome meal, but it might cause your wife to regurgitate her lunch. And wives don't find flatulence as entertaining or savory as their husbands believe. You wouldn't break wind in front of your boss, so maybe you should think twice about doing it in front of your wife.

Click NEXT or 2 below to continue reading this article.