Dblaxel Girl: I am known at work as the president of the Rabbi Shmuley fan club! I really use a lot of your advice in my day to day life. Thank you so much. My question for you is how can I balance my 4 and 6 year old with my workaholic husband and myself running my own business, our home and our children's needs? My husband seems detached - how can I reel him in again?
Rabbi Shmuley: From my experience, the detached husband is part of the syndrome I call the Broken American Male. The Broken American Male feels he is a failure because he has not realized his professional ambitions or dreams. He lives in a culture which allows masculine achievement in only 2 areas - money and celebrity. Men who feel like failures pursue flights of fancy. They detach themselves because they find that reality is too painful. They also find it difficult to appreciate and love their wives, because the man who believes that he is a big zero believes that the woman who was stupid enough to marry him is a double zero. The way you get your husband to re-engage is to make him believe in himself. Convince him of how much you need him, that you not only love him but you need and believe in him. The family needs a head. The children need the sun that will shine its light upon them, and then when he lives in outer space, his children just slump without any trajectory and are lost. Tell him he is the light, and that you and the children need him in your lives.
Melanie: First, I want to thank you for featuring a loving, successful lesbian couple on your show. As a Reform Jew, my movement is very sensitive to gay and lesbian issues. As a Rabbi, have you faced any backlash from that episode?
Rabbi Shmuley: I have faced a great deal of backlash from my position on homosexuality in general. That episode was just part. I have a gay brother who is an Orthodox Jew. Both he and I seriously believe what the Bible says about life. But he is who he is, and my brother, I believe, is a finer human being than I am. He's a better son to his mother, he is a more compassionate human being, and he strives his best to serve G-d and lead a religious life, even though he's gay. My message to gay men and women has always been that while I acknowledge the Bible's prohibition because I am an Orthodox Jew, I still believe that G-d loves every human being equally and that He placed me on this earth to bestow dignity on all of His creatures. Let us remember that homosexuality is but one prohibition in the Bible. Why is it that religious individuals have chosen to highlight this one prohibition as the be-all and end-all of religious faith is something that I don't quite comprehend. I can only say that it speaks to a deep prejudice among religions individuals toward gay men and women. My message to gay men and women has always been that yes, the Bible has a prohibition on homosexuality, but that should never stop any of us from loving G-d, praying to G-d, being loved by G-d. The rabbi or the priest who makes a gay man or woman feel unwelcome in a synagogue or church is guilty of an abomination against G-d and a crime against the human family. While I am not here to condone gay relationships, I was moved and inspired by the unconditional commitment that those two women on our show showed to their children. They are incredible and loving parents, and I feel connected to them to this very day.
Drkml: Rabbi, do you ever recommend that the TV families seek help beyond the limits of the show?
