LaRae 240: How do you inspire a husband who feels trapped by his family and everything it represents?

Rabbi Shmuley: A lot of husbands, either because of a mid-life crisis or being overwhelmed by family responsibilities, begin to disengage from the family and feel imprisoned. To be sure, this is an immature response. To be a man is to step up to the plate and honor one's responsibilities, none more so than to one's family. And yet, the purpose is not to confront your husband and make him feel like a failure because he is shirking his responsibilities. The effective way is to appeal to his inner hero. I believe we are all born to be heroes, but not the kind of hero for whom equestrian statues are erected or for whom is fired a 21-gun salute. The kind of heroes who do not conquer the world, but simply conquer themselves. Talk to him. Get him to understand that his greatness is found through his commitment to his family. It's not incarcerating, it's liberating. It's those who run from responsibility who discover their own mediocrity. The man who never cheats on his wife, the man who is always available to his children is one of the great men of history, even if no Hollywood films will ever be made of his existence. Indeed, he is so sturdy on the inside that he does not need to be immortalized by the masses. He takes strength from a loving and devoted family.

Louie: My parents have given up the will to keep their health up. They are out of shape and avoid treatments. How can I motivate them to get back on track?

Rabbi Shmuley: Tell them that you need them in your life, that you want them to be around for a long long time, that they are being selfish because they're forgetting that they're not just individuals, but that they're parents. You're not out to make them feel guilty, but to inspire them to assume the mantle of parental responsibility

Evan: Rabbi, I have lost any semblance of spirituality. How do I regain spirituality?

Rabbi Shmuley: By remembering that spirituality is not something we feel, it's something we do. So go to synagogue or go to church, depending on your religion. Open a prayer book and pray. Give 10% of your income to the poor. Honor your father and mother. Volunteer your time for valuable causes. So many of us wait around for some epiphany to strike us, some spiritual thunderbolt that will set our soul aflame when really, what ignites the embers of our souls is G_dly deed and G_dly action.

Evan-NYC: How can a mother, a father, and a young man of 16 find peace in a studio apartment in Manhattan?

Rabbi Shmuley: I take my kids RVing all the time. We just got back from a trip yesterday, and we are a mother and father and eight children, and usually a friend or two, all crammed into close quarters. It's probably a lot smaller than a studio apartment in Manhattan! Do we always have peace? No. In fact, there's often fighting. But I never blame it on the pressures caused by a confining space. I always blame it on my inability to assimilate the pressures caused by a confining space. Look at navy ships: you have 5000 sailors sleeping in hammocks below deck, but because of their commitment to a higher cause - their country, the military - they never fight. They fight the enemy, not each other. So too, if you devote yourself to the higher cause of the family, you will see the small apartment as a blessing because it causes you all to interact. No one can escape to their room where they can slam the door. That's why I love the RV: it makes my children into a captive audience!