Commit to Your Child
Enhance your parent-child relationship by focusing on the following essentials:
* Love your child and praise them frequently so that they feel valued and wanted.
* Set clear boundaries so that your child knows where they stand.
* Provide them with clear routines and structure so that they feel safe and know what to expect.
* Be consistent in your approach so that they learn the behavior well.
* Reward your child for being good, trying hard or doing well to build their self-esteem.
* Follow through with clear consequences if they misbehave, so that they learn from their mistakes.
* Give them cuddles and affection at every opportunity so that they know they are loved.

Increase Your Assertiveness
An assertive parent is a confident parent who has belief in their own abilities and will earn the respect of their child:
* Use an authoritative tone of voice to rein in your child's bad behavior.
* Use body language to emphasize praise.
* Use facial expressions to emphasize what you are feeling.
* Take steps to build your confidence if your self-esteem is low.
* Get help to manage your anger if you fear you could lose control.

Anger Management
* Distract yourself by counting or singing to yourself to take your mind off your annoyance.
* Put a barrier between yourself and what you are experiencing.
* If you feel you are going to blow, remove yourself from the room until you have regained control.
* Remember that if you start to shout and fill your child's head with negative thoughts, your words will reinforce the negative behavior.
* Look for support.

Learn to Relax
* Control your breathing by slowing it down and breathing from your diaphragm.
* Focus on relaxing your muscles; chances are that your brow is furrowed, your neck is hunched, your shoulders are high and taut and your fists may be clenched. You're in anxious mode.
* Think about the non-verbal message that you're giving to your child. If they can see you are anxious, they will become anxious too.
* Don't expect too much from yourself.

Monitor Your Own Behavior
* Are you being negative? Do you suffer from anxiety?
* Take action to get yourself into a different frame of mind.
* Choose to feel happy.
* Begin a behavior diary and monitor what kind of impact your approach is having on your child.
* Take positive steps to change your behavior.

Not In Front of The Children
* A parent who is able to self-manage their moods and behavior will be a more positive influence on their child than one who loses control easily. Children often believe themselves to be the cause of parental anguish.
* Try not to argue in front of young children - you will frighten them.
* If you do argue, let them see you make up.
* Avoid crying or losing control in front of young children - it will alarm them. Instead, remove yourself from the room with an excuse.
* Be calm and relaxed around food and make sure meals are eaten in a stress-free environment.
* Take a unified approach to parenting with your partner or family.

Draw Up A Parenting Contract
* List the positives: what you commit to.
* List the negatives: things that are banished.
* Ask your children what they want.
* Pin it up somewhere where everyone can see it.
* Take it seriously and commit to keeping the pledge.

NEXT >  Your Child's Behavior l Good Behavior Program l  Top Tips