Catering usually makes up the largest line item on a wedding budget, often 45 to 50 percent of the total. Budget plays a big part in whether your reception will feature hors d'oeuvres that are passed or on platters, whether the meal will be a served as a formal sit-down dinner, a buffet or food stations, whether you serve a dessert in addition to wedding cake, and alcohol choices.

Don't assume that a buffet will always cost less than a sit-down dinner, cautions Craig. What you save in not having to pay for waiters is often lost in increased food cost.

Have an idea of what you want — and what you want to spend — before you talk to caterers. Ask friends and family for recommendations, and plan on talking to three or four caterers. When you meet with the caterer, don't be shy about describing your hopes and plans for the day. You want to be confident that you can trust this important event to just the right person. And count on a caterers to guide your hopes within your budget and situation.

You want to pick a caterer who can work magic for you, says Craig — which might include conjuring up a beautiful meal in a field, moving the schedule along, and keeping the salmon from drying out when dinner is delayed by an hour, for instance.

"One of the most important aspects of a wedding is to pay attention to the bride and groom," says Sanders. "Whether that has to do with the timing of the cake, no onions, or having the champagne at 68 degrees." There's always something — a "wow factor" — for each couple, he says, and a good caterer will deliver because he or she listened.