Since my husband and I both speak English, I felt that communication was an area that we would have little trouble negotiating. In high school, when students were clamoring to learn French, I took the ever-useful Latin instead. Who knew? My husband jokes that by late in the week, he has no more English left in him. His take on many American sayings is unintentionally hilarious. My favorites are "shop 'til you're dead" and "drop her like a bad potato." When he curses in French with gusto, though, I understand fully.

Having two different native languages in a household poses some minor communication problems that I had not anticipated. Our approaches to giving and receiving directions are very different. I automatically divide spaces into left, right; back, front; and up, down. Directions for finding items in the refrigerator are problematic. In steering him toward something, I say things like, "up, left and to the back," and my husband gives me a blank stare. We are getting more proficient at understanding each other in these situations, but I know that learning his language is an important part of communicating with my husband on a more familiar level.

The number of interethnic marriages in the United States is climbing. According to an analysis of the U.S. Census Bureau's 1998 Current Population Survey done by American Demographics magazine, the number of married couples who are of different races or ethnic groups has doubled since 1980. Mixed marriages now make up about 5 percent of the nation's married couples, up from 3 percent in 1980. Even the 2000 Census reflected this in the family-background question by allowing people to pick more than one racial or ethnic category. Not only is there a growing acceptance of interethnic couples, but racial and ethnic attitudes are surely softening as a result of these unions and vice versa. The marital constructs of the past are giving way to a new type of blended American family. Be it Thai-American-French or any other amalgam, it is family that respects and treasures the differences as well as the similarities of the other.

Books on Interethnic Relationships:
Mixed Matches: How to Create Successful Interracial, Interethnic, and Interfaith Relationships
by Joel Crohn

Swaying: Essays on Intercultural Love
by Jessie Carroll Grearson (Editor), Lauren B. Smith (Editor)

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner: Celebrating Interethnic, Interfaith, and Interracial Relationships
by Brenda Lane Richardson

Intercultural Marriage: Promises & Pitfalls
by Dugan Romano