What We Can Learn From Celebrity Relationships

type size: [A] [A] [A]

Celebrity relationships are notorious for their over-the-top fairy-tale beginnings, as well as their quick "crash-and-burn" endings. Everything in Hollywood is bigger than life, so when these seemingly perfect unions go south, it’s always a little bit shocking, yet simultaneously expected.

The good news is, there’s a lot we can learn from these celebrity affairs of the heart, and you don’t have to be a red carpet expert to learn from these couples’ high-profile mistakes. Celebrities, listen up! You, too, can learn some lessons in love from the following analytic observations. After all, at the end of the day, we are all just people who want to find lasting happiness and success in our love relationships.

So, why do so many of these seemingly ideal partnerships end up falling apart and on the cover of popular tabloid magazines? They seem to have it all: fame, money, beauty and success most of us can only dream about. These attributes would seem to make it easier for them to find love and live "happily ever after." Well, clearly that’s not the case! Marriage and relationships are simply not that easy. If all it took to be in a happy marriage was money, success and beauty, all of these Hollywood couples would be good to go.

NEXT: Commitment Is Key

Commitment Is Key

The truth is, being in a successful relationship has very little to do with how things appear on the outside, or how pretty or financially rich a person is. It has to do with how a couple feels about themselves as individuals, as well as their feelings for each other. They must also be willing to put effort and care into the relationship. Good intentions and flash-in-the-pan passion are not enough to sustain a lasting bond or a happy marriage. Couples need to be committed to each other, communicate effectively, and perhaps most important of all, place a high priority on achieving wedded bliss.

I certainly don’t want to denigrate all celebrity unions. There are a few Hollywood "A" listers who really seem to get it right. For example, John Travolta and his beautiful wife Kelly Preston talk openly about how they work at their relationship and make it a priority to be successfully married. They acknowledge that being married is equally important to both of them, so they do whatever it takes to make it work. Their married life appears to include an appreciation for one another, a deep love of family and true support of each other’s work, life goals and passions. The same dedication is seen with the Spielbergs. Steven Spielberg and his wife Kate Capshaw also have the right idea. It’s clear they are a couple who places family first. Kate Capshaw placed her role as wife and mother above everything else, a decision that has served her family well. Achieving a successful marriage requires time and support of one another, as well as the ability to work on important and mutual goals as a family. These two couples model dedication to marriage very well.

NEXT: Know Yourself Before Making a Commitment

Know Yourself Before Making a Commitment

The truth of the matter is most high-profile couples get easily sidetracked. Increased visibility, extreme sexual temptations and careers that pull them in different directions and locations is often just too much for most couples to handle. Kate Hudson and her now estranged husband Chris Robinson exemplify a couple that has fallen prey to distraction. They were two people who seemed to really like each other. They even mirrored each other’s hip and quirky personalities. The look of being in love was clearly in their eyes. Heck, Kate’s famous family even seemed to embrace and adore their new rock star son-in-law and the couple had an adorable son, Ryder. 

Yet, just a few years into their marriage, they were reported to have major relationship problems. The point being made here is that love is not always enough to make a relationship work. If you marry young, before you really know who you are and have had the life experience to learn what’s important to you, it’s very hard to make a marital choice that can carry you through the long term. And if two people in a couple have demanding careers that take them away from each other, this will undoubtedly interfere with building a solid foundation, which is very necessary for a relationship to grow and get strong.

Marriage, no matter how "in love" a couple initially is, requires time, nurturing and attention. It does not happen on its own or overnight. It’s more than having the right feeling toward a partner, it’s about behaving in the right way toward each other. Marriage needs tending to and a willingness to consider what’s important to your partner on a daily basis, or the intense flame that burned so brightly in the beginning will slowly dim, fade and ultimately flicker out.

NEXT: Looks Can be Deceiving

Looks Can Be Deceiving

Nothing captured our attention more than the shocking news that Peter Cook, Christy Brinkley’s husband of 10 years, cheated on her with a beautiful teenager. Before this information, Christy Brinkley and her husband seemed to be the perfect couple, which once again shows you what looks perfect on the outside doesn’t always reflect what’s going on behind closed doors. Cheating has nothing to do with how attractive a partner is. It usually has more to do with a person’s character and what is going on with him/her internally. The temptation to cheat is probably harder to combat when you are a performer with a lot of opportunity to get involved in a cloistered situation like a movie set and then have tons of people throwing themselves your way. And then there is the David Navarro and Carmen Electra situation. Who’s sexier than Carmen Electra?! Yet her husband of only a few years was reported to have more than just a roving eye.

Relationships Evolve

Relationships feel different during different phases. Just because a couple doesn’t have that "I can’t live without you … let’s be together every second" kind of feeling that happened in the beginning, it doesn’t mean the relationship is over. New is not always better — even if that new individual comes packaged in a younger body form. Seasoned relationships feel different than new relationships, where a partner usually gets idealized. In a sound and growing relationship, you start to realize that your husband or wife is not perfect; they are flawed, and perhaps no longer want to stay in bed all day long. But successful marriages don’t give up on their partners prematurely, for they understand that it actually takes time to develop a deep and long-lasting marriage. After the newness wears off is the time when two real people, imperfections and all, learn to embrace and love one another unconditionally. And what can be better than that? Not much, for that’s real intimacy!

Learning From Celebrity Relationships

What can we learn from these celebrity relationships? A lot! Successful marriages require time, work, maturity and attention. Couples need to think about the big picture and not give in to the hedonistic and self-centered tendencies of the moment (and let’s face it, you don’t need to be a celebrity to give into those tendencies). Successful marriages require friendship and a willingness to focus on each other on a regular basis. So, go out there and make your marriage the best it can be. It’s worth it!